First Winter

The first winter, in our new house, in a new town,  is a brisk, chilled, powder-white outdoors.  Inside, it is warm and cozy, with a kitchen that perpetually smells of good things to eat.  The kitchen, that true heart of the home,  beats steadily with a circulation of aromas signifying health and satiety.  Roasts in the oven, stews on the stove-top, hearty bread.  

January will be here soon. Janus was the Roman god, with two faces, who could look back upon the past while simultaneously looking toward the future. And so, it is not uncommon to look over our shoulders at the landscape of our past year, remembering the seeds we sowed in spring, the harvest of autumn, and the reflections of deep winter.  Did we create? Did we love? Did we give the world our best? And what, then, of our future? Will we worry ourselves and borrow trouble from tomorrow? Instead, let us put our best foot forward, every day, one step at a time.

My beloved's visits home are always a race against the calendar.  There is a list of tasks, the requisite and hopeful efforts to be reacquainted, the discussions of intentions and plans and dreams. And at some point, there is a realization that it will soon be over. He will depart toward tyrannies of the urgent, his work in the world, and I will resume my work, my care-giving, my offering, whatever that may be.

My thoughts, this New Year's Eve, turn toward being here now, appreciating the warmth of a fire. I think about marriage and my commitment to working side-by-side even when we're apart.

My role in parenthood is always changing. My adult children share their time with me. I have decided warm greetings and fond farewells, small courtesies, and sincere attention to their stories are my personal best at this stage.

As this year comes to a close, I release any attachments I have to clutter, mental and otherwise.  My intention is to celebrate the simple pleasures, opportunities, and possibilities of my future. 
Bring it on!

Janus looking to the future and the past.

Make peace with yesterday and let it go. Move forward today with confidence and appreciation for the strength you've gained.